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    孝道也可以權變

    時間:2012-05-19 21:37來源:中國弟子規網 作者:弟子規 點擊:
    蔡禮旭老師 比方說孝道也是要權變,我們一提到孝道,大家都會想到曾子很孝順,宗圣曾夫子。《孝經》就是曾子請教夫子,然后夫子講述出來很精辟的一本經典。曾子侍奉自己的父親

    蔡禮旭老師

     
        比方說孝道也是要權變,我們一提到孝道,大家都會想到曾子很孝順,宗圣曾夫子。《孝經》就是曾子請教夫子,然后夫子講述出來很精辟的一本經典。曾子侍奉自己的父親非常的恭敬,父親吃飯的時候都是在一旁侍候。然后父親喜歡吃,吃完問曾子還有嗎?縱使沒有了,曾子都會說有,然后趕快去弄,他歡喜父親喜歡吃。父親喜歡吃紅棗,有一種紅棗叫洋棗。后來父親去世之后,他再也不吃洋棗,因為他一吃就想起父親,心里就難受。所以非常孝順,以至于跟母親都是達到母子連心的那種心境。

      有一次朋友來他們家找曾子,因為曾子上山砍柴,也不知道怎么找到他。當下他的母親看到這么多朋友來找他,其實以前的古人都非常厚道,都很為人著想。曾子的母親想,這些朋友趕來找曾子,走路有的都走十幾天,甚至還有上月的都可能有。人家已經走得那么辛苦,就非常不忍心再讓客人朋友等,當下就咬自己的手指頭。這么一咬,曾子的心馬上覺得絞痛,深怕家里有事,就趕緊回來。一回來才知道母親是為了讓他趕回來,所以咬了一下手指。諸位朋友,我們父母身體不舒服,我們感不感覺得到?父母有什么需要,我們感不感覺得到?其實這種母子連心,是每個人的天分,每個人都有的能力。但是我們假如自私自利,自我太重了,這樣為父母、為他人的這種敏感的能力,就慢慢消退下去了。我們看到這些古圣先賢他們的風范,其實我們每個人都有明德、都有本善,都達得到他們這樣境界。只要我們能效法他們的德行、孝心,我們這些能力就可以回來。
      曾子他這么樣的孝順,但他有沒有達到權變的能力?有一次他在幫父親鋤地,鋤著鋤著不小心把瓜的根給鋤斷了,這個瓜的根鋤斷,整個瓜藤都沒用了。父親看到,一下子情緒上來,就拿了一個很粗的棍子就要打曾子。諸位老師,這個時候您會怎么做?這個時候要不要乖乖的趴下來:父親,您就打吧!一說到這里大家的腦海里浮都現什么?浮現爺爺奶奶拿著一個小棍子,然后我們就在那里滿屋子跑;還是爸爸媽媽拿個小棍子,我們滿屋跑。讓父母、讓長輩跑得氣喘噓噓的,我們還在那里覺得很得意,這就很不好的榜樣,很不好的行為,錯的要承認錯誤。曾子很恭敬,他覺得自己錯了,就很恭敬的在那里等爸爸處罰他。父親因為看了一時間火氣比較大,就一下打下去,用力過猛,就把曾子給打昏。然后曾子就被扛回家里,躺了一會,后來蘇醒過來。

      諸位朋友們,當你剛被父親打昏了,然后當下醒過來第一個念頭,或者第一件事會做什么?看大家的反應,好像都沒什么經驗,挺好。當下醒過來,那一定是很痛,可是曾子完全沒有顧及到自己的痛,他一醒過來馬上引吭高歌,唱起歌來,而且唱得很大聲。大家想想,曾子為什么要唱歌?他一醒過來馬上是想到,父親在這個當下一定是非常焦急,失手把自己兒子打了,也不知道多嚴重,現在一定是非常恐慌的狀態,非常擔憂。所以一醒過來,曾子馬上高歌,他父親一聽到:沒事了,精神還不錯!父親馬上就能夠釋懷下來。這里就可以感受到至孝的心境,完全不顧自己,只想著父親,只想著母親。又到父親的跟前,事后他做些事讓父親看,原來真的沒事。等父親整個表情都已經放松、和緩了,這時候曾子才離開父親的跟前。
      大家聽到這,曾子孝不孝順?很孝順。結果這個消息傳到孔夫子那里,夫子就對著大家說,叫曾子不用來找我了,他不是我的學生。夫子的話就傳到曾子那里,諸位老師們,諸位朋友們,假如你是曾子,你做了這么孝順的事情,老師說你不是我的學生,你不要來見我了,當下我們的心情是什么樣的狀態?這都是我們的學處。我們現在面對老師、面對父母、面對長輩,意見不合的時候,我們都會覺得自己對,甚至于會頂撞。曾子做的,一般人看都很孝順的行為,他也不知道他哪里錯,但是只要老師說他錯,他就接受老師說的。畢恭畢敬的,自己主動的到老師那邊去請益、請教:老師,我一定還有哪些地方做得不好。對父母的孝,對老師的恭敬,在這個故事當中流露無遺。為什么曾子在《論語》里面是說“參也魯”,曾子是駑鈍,素質比較不好。但是為什么他是宗圣?宗圣是得其心法,得其法要叫宗,是非常有成就的圣人,這就是我們要去體會到的關鍵。縱使素質不是很好,但是只要有孝敬的心,只要有曾子那種對待學問的態度,對待父母、老師以及人民這種正確的態度,我們這一生也可以有很高的成就。

      后來曾子非常恭敬的詢問老師,弟子到底哪里做得不好?孔子就說,你父親在盛怒之下,拿這么大的棍子打你,假如失手把你給打死了,你不是陷父親于不義嗎?你看你死了誰最傷心?當然是你的父親、你的母親,而且會傷心一輩子。所以你要懂得權變,“小杖則受,大杖則走”,小棍子在那里好好承受,打完之后,記住不要再犯。大棍子就要趕快怎么樣?溜之大吉,這個時候要懂得趕快先跑。這就是孝道當中還是要懂得權變,比方“父母教,須敬聽”,父母在教訓我們的時候,我們恭恭敬敬在那聽。結果你父親在罵你的時候,愈看到你火氣愈大,這個時候你要會權變,就先離開現場,可能他火氣才能下來。一想到父母教須敬聽,硬杵在那里動都不動,可能到時候你父親會罵到心臟病都上來。所以權變是很關鍵的。權變的境界我們都可以去體會,所謂“慕賢當慕其心”,我們從這幾個例子去感受一下這些圣賢人的心境。

      剛剛也跟大家提到,曾子有很高的境界,在《論語.泰伯第八》里面,連續有五句都提到曾子,也是曾子的教誨。其中在“泰伯第八”第三篇里面,“曾子有疾”,曾子生病了,病得很重。諸位老師們,諸位朋友們,我們生病生得很重,當下腦子里在想什么?很可能痛得爹娘都叫起來了。但是曾子病那么重的時候,他是想到什么?他是想到趕快把學生找過來,找過來做什么?趕快跟學生講,“啟予足,啟予手”,你們看看我的手,看看我的腳,毫發無傷。因為夫子在《孝經》里面教導曾子,“身體發膚受之父母,不敢毀傷,孝之始也;立身行道,揚名于后世,以顯父母,孝之終也”。這樣的教誨,曾子聽了之后終身奉行,他時刻不敢傷害自己身體。孝子的心境真是一舉手一投足都非常小心翼翼,不愿意因為自己的身體受到損害,而讓父母難受、擔憂,所謂“身有傷,貽親憂”。孝是文化道統的大根大本,曾子把它演出來了,以身教來教導學生。

      曾子臨終的時候,他時時想的是父母、是老師。把學生找過來,就是為了要把老師承傳的道統、智慧不能斷在自己這一代,一定要再承傳下去。這就是我們去體會一個圣人他那種心境。當我們時時都想著,我們要用我們的行為去表演,去承傳古圣先賢的傳統文化、智慧,這個時候我們就會謹慎,就會要求自己不可放縱,要時時學為人師,行為世范。所以有把老師放在心上,有把承傳道統放在心上,這樣的人道德、學問的提升就會快。所以,孝敬的心是把一個人明德開顯,最關鍵的心態,關鍵的兩把金鑰匙。《弟子規》最前面的兩篇,就是教孝敬,“入則孝,出則弟”。

      我們看到曾子對自己身體的那種謹慎,也可以體會的到生個病,可能讓父母煩惱、擔憂一個禮拜、兩個禮拜。而他對于身體都這么謹慎,對于自己的德行就更加的慎重,因為生病是擔憂一兩個禮拜。但是行為偏頗,觸犯法網,或者有損名節的話,那會讓父母終生抱憾。那絕對是一個孝子不愿意發生的事情。當我們到孔廟來參觀大成殿,走進大成殿里在曾子的神位面前,我們要遙想曾子這些風范。這個時候冥冥當中曾子會庇蔭我們,這叫神交古人。一想到這些圣賢人,我們生慚愧,我們好好努力用功。這是孝可以權變。
     

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