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  • 弟子規夏令營 | 傳統文化公益論壇 | 中華經典 | 弟子規網 | 公益網

    當前位置: 主頁 > 釋疑解惑 > 釋疑解惑十 >

    孩子為什么會撒謊?

    時間:2012-05-19 20:18來源:中國弟子規網 作者:弟子規 點擊:
    蔡禮旭老師 所以孩子撒謊有幾種可能我們要擅于觀察。當孩子初犯,我們要慎于開始,要很謹慎。所以孩子很可能因為要貪圖利益,撒謊,貪圖利益。有一個孩子回來跟他爸爸要兩塊人

    蔡禮旭老師

     
        所以孩子撒謊有幾種可能我們要擅于觀察。當孩子初犯,我們要慎于開始,要很謹慎。所以孩子很可能因為要貪圖利益,撒謊,貪圖利益。有一個孩子回來跟他爸爸要兩塊人民幣,結果他父親順手拿了一張兩塊錢的錢幣給他。他說:爸爸,我不要一張,我要兩張一塊的。他爸爸很納悶,就是兩塊錢,怎么還要分成這樣?他就跟爸爸說:爸爸,我只要拿一次錢去訓導處就可以得十分,所以你給我一張兩塊的,我只能得十分;你給我兩張一塊的,我可以拿去說我撿到的,我可以得二十分。他爸爸聽了怎么樣?我兒子怎么這么聰明。結果又去講給一個教育官員聽,這教育官員全身起雞皮疙瘩。這個父親也夠沒有教育敏感度,還覺得他很聰明。孩子已經公然撒謊。所以現在家長還覺得會撒謊是本事,那可就麻煩。所以這是一種情況。

      現在學校比方說有募捐的活動,我們也要適時引導小孩正確的觀念。有一次學校推出這種貧困救助,有一個孩子要捐款。他媽媽就問他要捐多少,孩子想一想七塊兩毛錢。多不多?不多。但是那是他全部的積蓄他把它捐出來,自己捐。結果其它的同學都是爸爸媽媽捐,都是三百,都是五百。結果這個孩子的心怎么樣?我才捐七塊二,都沒有人看到他的真心。結果這個捐五百、捐一千的,五百可以帶一朵小紅花,一千塊可以點一支蠟燭。所以很有可能我們本來是要辦善事,在這個辦的過程當中,讓孩子學到什么?可能虛榮心都加進去了,而且又不是拿自己的錢,是拿家長的錢來顧什么?不只是小孩要面子,很有可能誰也要?父母。

      其中有一個家長,她馬上就捐了幾千塊,結果學校發個小紅花給她戴,她沒戴。她說善心都是自己愿意做的,又不是要出去炫耀表揚,還頒獎狀。所以這一位母親也很有敏感度。假如她就這樣大搖大擺戴著那一朵大紅花去,那她又怎么樣教育她的孩子行善不欲人知,行善是我們每個人的本分。所以教育所產生的效果,為人父母者,為人老師者,要細細去推敲才行,不然會染上這種虛名,就不好。

      孩子撒謊很有可能覺得好玩,一開始給你騙一下,你也笑一笑,他也笑一笑。那他就覺得怎么樣?很有意思。你看很多綜藝節目在玩弄別人,大家哈哈大笑,所以孩子覺得欺騙別人很好玩,這都是誤導。所以我們也非常熟悉一個故事,叫狼來了。這個故事你講給幼兒園孩子聽就很有效果。你就告訴他,這個孩子他守著一群小羊,結果他自己覺得很無聊,就大喊:狼來了!狼來了!所有的村民都非常樸實,也很愿意幫助別人,統統都來要幫他把狼趕走。結果一看一只狼也沒有。他看別人忙成這樣,自己還在那里哈哈大笑。結果后來村民都回去了。第二次他又開玩笑,又欺騙別人,第二次沒來那么多人,不過也來了不少。又看又是他開人家的玩笑,所以村民又回去。第三次狼真的怎么樣?來了。那時候他大喊狼來了,狼來了。有沒有人來?沒人來。小朋友,沒人來以后會怎么樣?羊會怎么樣?他會怎么樣?吃了不要講,讓小孩自己去想,好恐怖,記憶深刻。所以小孩假如因為好玩撒謊,一定要適時的制止,不能再犯。

      第三個小孩有可能因為逞能而說謊,還有掩過飾非、父母影響,我們要適時去觀察。逞能,因為他要炫耀,所以就把話講得很夸張。你注意去聽看看,有些八、九歲,十歲的孩子會攀比,我們家有什么?有電腦,有數位數碼相機。這就愈說愈夸張,我們當老師的要謹慎,適時去制止。

      在宋朝的時候有一位名臣叫司馬光。有一次,他跟他姐姐在比剝核桃,結果都剝得很慢。他們家的仆人就跟他說,你用熱水燙一燙就很好剝。司馬光去拿熱水來燙,剛好他的姐姐離開一段時間又回來,看他剝得好順,就說:弟弟,你怎么這么厲害,誰教你的?司馬光說,我自己學會的。結果剛好他父親走過去,假如你是父親你會怎么做?很多時候我們可能不經意就把這個忘記了。那可能一開始撒謊,往后就怎么樣?有一就有二。因為他逞能沒被發現,他還覺得自己很了不起,就麻煩。所以他父親當場就跟他說:有多少本事就說多少話,不是自己剝的絕對不能夸大。所以由于父親在他第一次犯錯就給予嚴厲的指責,這是正確的教誨。后來司馬光一生非常坦坦蕩蕩,所以他也曾經講過“平生所為之事,無有不可語人者”。這是結果,我們也要看到原因,是因為什么?父母正確、適時的指導,決非偶然。這是逞能的情況。

        下一個掩過飾非。很多孩子一犯錯,他會有一點緊張,一緊張,可能就怕被大人發現。所以有一次有一個孩子把衣架子弄壞了,其實衣架子弄壞好不好修?一弄就回來了。但是他們不懂,就很緊張,怕被處罰。所以就跟旁邊的同學說,不要告訴老師,結果剛好老師就在旁邊,馬上就過來,他嚇一跳。孩子都還小,只要你適時的教導他,他馬上觀念就轉過來。后來老師馬上跟他說“無心非,名為錯;有心非,名為惡”。所以弄壞衣架不嚴重,不告訴老師才嚴重,你以后就贏不了老師對你的信任。所以錯了就要承認,“過能改,歸于無”。然后就接著跟他說,你犯的錯改過來,而且又能學到如何把一個東西再把它修好。這老師也很有耐性,陪他一起把它弄好。所以這個機會點我們掌握好,孩子可能就此能建立正確的態度。所以當孩子在掩過飾非,我們也要仔細去觀察,不能讓他養成習慣就麻煩。

      最后,父母的影響。有一片電影叫手機,手機里面有統計一個數字,說一個成人一天講的謊話有多少?有二十五次,二十五次謊。所以大人在一天當中講這么多次謊,那小孩潛移默化。比方說,這個媽媽在接電話,兒子也在,爸爸也在。電話接起來:我先生不在。那小孩說:爸爸在,怎么會不在?小孩都聽蒙了。所以小孩在的地方絕對不可艾薩克謊,小孩不在的地方也不能撒謊。所以我們之前也有提到一個觀察,要學會拒絕。你不學會拒絕,人家就不知道你為人的分寸,你生活的原則。只要你該拒絕的拒絕,你的朋友就會順著你的原則跟你交往,何必在那里遮遮掩掩?累死自己,后來還被人誤會,說你怎么可以不守信?或者怎么可以躲我?那就把本來很單純的事情搞得怎么樣?挺復雜的。這是“奸巧語”,我們要注意孩子撒謊的情況。“穢污詞,市井氣,切戒之”。
     
    感恩老師!  

    (責任編輯:admin)
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